WORD SALAD

It is probably a late realisation that the year hits you like a train...you think it's moving quite slow...it looks like that...before you know it ...it's gone past...leaving you at the empty station for the next one..get in the way and it squashes you and leaves a crushed mass behind... The year  of THE ROYAL WEDDING..when the future King got married and the world was actually checking out his bro and sis-in-law...the year some great people..both good and bad said bye to the world..the year prices kept going up and down and up and down ...like a O.o nevermind. It is over.It is going. It isn't coming back.It is flowing. The good moments and the bad, The ones that made you laugh,the ones that made you sad. The days you wish would just stretch on forever. The days you wish didn't have to happen ever. The days that put you through pain, The lessons that left a stain. The things you wish you could undo, The dreams you wish you could have made true. What you had,you...

What is so good about goodbye huh?There is absolutely nothing so good about it.If you added good to a hello/hi/morning /evening etc. , atleast it makes some sense.This person is going away,probably for long.What is so good about it?What?What?I don't know about others...but I SIMPLY HATE SAYING GOODBYE... provided I like you somewhat.If I don't I might say goodbye before hello..never know. It is easier to say hi any day, than saying bye.From a simple Skype conversation with your family to saying bye to your sister as she leaves.... to come back home only after a year( though in some cases its quite relieving to say bye to the person and get rid off  them.)I would rather walk up to somebody I have never spoken to and say hi and start a conversation...than say bye to anyone...even over chat (which is also probably why if I start saying bye to anyone I am talking to at 10:15 pm... I probably log off only at 11:45 pm..) It is a fact.I am a better ice breaker than a conversat...

I know this is probably the case with most people in the country not as privileged as me..on a daily basis that too... but I guess we are all used to comfort.Way too used to comforts and joys that we don't know are comforts till they are taken away from us (whichever guy wrote the rule book saw to it I guess :(   )... Everyday you get to eat whenever you feel like...feel hungry atleast.You get to drink water when you need to.You get force-fed (atleast in my house you are....you have to plead for mercy) till you look like the moon yourself.Round,globular, moving really slow....... And the one day the Earth decides to butt in between the Moon and the Sun (am I right?Always been a little weak in Physics!)....or the Moon between the Sun and the Earth, I don't know what happens to the stars,to the zodiacs,to the Gods....but one thing happens to me....Stomach thunder!!That deep rumbling noise...sounds majestic but its begging...begging for food..begging for water..begging for...

"....but I thought you never did this..." "I thought you don't do this..." "I know you will do this..." "You are ____..dont _____" You thought.You assumed.You figured that out. You assumed I was being arrogant by not saying anything.Maybe I was shy. You assumed I was dumb and didn't know anything.Maybe I chose not to say anything. You assumed I was ok with it.Maybe I just chose to let it pass. You assumed I was not hurt.Maybe I decided not to show. You assumed that I lied.Maybe you don't have your facts right. I'm not saying I don't judge people the first time I meet them.I do.There are a lot of people I hated when I first met them.People who I thought were plain weird.People who I thought were immature.People who seemed a lot of things until I decided to take a chance,go and talk to them and find out for real.Most of them are my best friends now.(My judgement is not that bad.Some of them were really freaky people...

No.I don't know if that is an actual word!Coming to think of it I don't care either... Coz now I am a zombie more or less and I don't think zombies care about grammar and language..do they ?? Ever gone through an entire week without knowing when it started and when it was the weekend? Ever slept for 6 minutes and thought it was and hour or vice versa? Ever had 3 meals and realised later you didnt know what you ate...if you ate at all..and should you scrounge for food again? Well thats what is happening to me...its all one big..... I don't know .....chunk of time... I dunno if it is morning or night anymore... I dunno if  its brush your teeth time or go to sleep time.. I dunno if its Friday or Sunday or Monday ....until I go to twitter/fb and see "TGIF" or "dammit its monday!" I dunno if I just had breakfast or if I had lunch..I don't know what I ate... All I know is I had strong filter coffee and dozed off..!!If coffee doesnt work wh...

Okay so i know i may be overdoing the whole friendship thing...and i just realised that maybe (and this isnt jus becoz i read this in a book...) jus maybe my life does revolve around my friends... it is kinda centred around them...and for everything that i seem to put into it....all i get is argggh nevermind... do check out what came out of all those bad experiences though :) http://murali14.hubpages.com/hub/The-other-F-word

what is it about me..or is it happening to everyone? my weekends seem like a big deal....like a huge amount of time when they are approaching  and then poof ...they jus disappear... it happens every week....on friday its like i have two days...TWO DAYS TO GO.. and really happy with myself ...i sit and plot...i sit and plan... __ for saturday morning... __ for sat night ..etc etc and then the time that was there ....isnt there anymore...where did it go???.. and hence on monday morning ..or if im lucky on sunday night i ll do like a weeks worth of work in like 2 hours..and no....no time for  relief and all that...i have the next week waiting for me ....and gosh does it start with a bang...MONDAY MORNING!!  and you will wonder why im rambling about monday morning on a friday evening...well you would too if monday morning involved 3 of your most hated subjects in a row...ok i admit i like psychiatry a lil bit (arent we all a little mad anyway...)and i have ...

so i sit here after somebody says sumthing and wonder what they are probably thinking on the other side... and turns out i come up with more possibilities than the other person can handle... (which also explains why im usually right if im guessing something....i go thro the entire list..!!!)  but you have to understand....if u dont tell me real fast what you are thinking ...its scary sitting  here looking at one sentence and wondering what you could probably be thinking... and hence the akshaya pathram of thoughts.... but i guess the akshaya pathram would stop producing food once everyone ate and the pot was cleaned...my thoughts dont stop.... which is also why i dont manage to get any sleep...the stupid brain of mine wont stop working ... it has to wonder about a million different things at once... it has to analyse every sound in the middle of the night... and i cant help it .. so if you see me typing away while you think how you should respond... 1.rep...

when i had a good net conn i wasnt allowed coz of xams... wen xams got over...net conked off and ... wen i had a good conxn and exams were done...i was banned from net usage ....not that i had any energy after 7 exams non-stop...(yes medicine is a frustrating irritating course to pursue...) so i have been stuck at home ...4 days in a row... with a medical novel in hand...which i wasnt allowed to read... a lot of not so medical but very very anatomical novels from my sister (yes i  do have a pretty cool sis..) and lots of games....but alas! couldnt do any of those... holiday spl movies....which i couldnt watch... movies on my lappy i wasnt allowed to watch..... great...and now at the end of 4 days off...i dont know if i hate a working day more or a holiday more !!!  :|

the thing abt being a doctor or trying to become one is that you cant be A CLUELESS DOC.. you have to know everhything ...always.. which is what i am afraid of the most... you cant never let your knowledge let you down.. and its not like people will ask you only after you get your degree... people will ask you whenever wherever...OUTTA THE BLUE.. UR a med student...ur sposed to know.. friends family relatives friend's friends .... anybody... and you should know  what you have to do coz u cant google it up all the time.. and yeah there are escape routes....what we call 'BLANKET TREATMENT' .... where u just treat every damn thing possible so the patient invariably gets better... but thats just how it isnt supposed to be done.. and i dont wanna b another quack... i dont want to be a quack at all!! i want to go out there and be the bestest doc ever... and not knowing doesnt help! :( but hey how am i sposed to get 7000-8000 pages of knowledge into my head AN...

i have always wondered this...if ur the non contributing member by which i mean audience in a fight...and ur not like supporting anyone... do u get to laugh at the lack of logic and the irrational arguments or do u sit and cry that u cant laugh?? trust me it is frustrating...u cant laugh and u cant swallow the laugh... being in a fight of course is an entirely different story...u can wateva u want and say i said it in a fit of rage (and thank god we get to say that...its A LIFESAVER...that phrase..) the safest thing hence is probably to jus dip ur nose into a book and act like ur reading and mentally laugh at /curse the situation..or cry if u must ...but ...arrrrgh nevermind

okay so you all have read the story about corvus the crow...(if you haven't i recommend you do ...) i really dont know how or why ....but apparently all our ancestors come back as crows....and you have to feed your ancestors before you eat...and on saturdays the blessings get doubled by some kind of divine mathematics.....i dont get much time to pray throughtout the week anyway..unless there is an exam of course...so saturday is the  prayer room cleanup,prayer backlog completion etc etc day.. and  there is this annoying cawing match going in the background....outside the kitchen window ...with glossy black feathers and a keen eye sits the most irritating crow ever....i kinda assumed it was a call for the lady next door and didnt bother about it... but then i saw the same crow on the windowsill in the next room...centimetres away from the table..fighting like i stole his breakfast (ot a she bt im sure if it were a she..she wouldnt have bothered with the manners and...

Exams are on this month... i mean this month!! and that would be 7 papers and one clinical exam and that would be roughly 14 textbooks..each the size of a huge pumpkin ...only flattened if you get what i mean.... and then again i havent touched my books in the last 6 months...and when i have i have fallen asleep on it and wen i woke up  the page was like crumply ... point being ...well i cant do it .. or mebbe i can but i cant or i can but i dont know and i jus realised i need to update my playlists... arrange tabs around my phone menu clean the room i mean seriously...i usually can atleast spell the subject... this time round i cant even do tht ..its call otolary...blablabla.... see!! and now suddenly the whole world is more interesting .... EXAMS !! :|

lazy sunday afternoon the words that cut through like a dagger...coz in 21 years i haven't experienced even one ...:| as unbelievable as that sounds... after the early morning wake up...(yes there is nothing called waking up late...unless you call 6 am late like my granny....)..wake up time is 5 am..anything before 5 is just a lil early (even if it is 3am) and everything after 5 is late... which doesn't work in my favour...especially since i couldn't even sleep till 3 last night... anyway the Sunday routine is wake up ,do ur thing......do ur prayers BEFORE 10 AM ...eat brunch by 12 which is very very appetising when it is cooked...but you don't feel like eating on the plate ..with me atleast...today being the exception... some sunday special activities according to the moods of the leader of the day.......... and then we move into pre-next week mode....which is prepping for next week....so lazy sundays are a myth and ...

okay so maybe all those stars in heaven felt bad after yesterdays blog and decided to start up.... i went up to check my marks today and lol this is funny...so here i am looking at my marks...and somehow everyone before and after me in my batch has lesser marks..some have flunked and im having an abnormally large share of marks... and i found it more amusing than amazing.... maybe the guy who took my viva decided i had been through more and hence deserved more... and yes i did see people go up in flames...the ex toppers the sad part is that they had to try to corner me in public..but the funny part is i finally didnt care.... i found it more amusing than annoying... life is funny ...in a cruel way :) :( :| :/

okay so according to the stars i am supposed to having the time of my life... i am supposed be getting favours from VIPS and having great opportunities and blahblahblah.... and here i am penniless pretty much ...im defly not getting a Ferrari from any1 this week... and here i am in the middle of chaos with everything going wrong...in all directions... im losing hair,teeth(i dont know how many i got so wouldnt know if i lost one or two...),peace,sleep, NOT WEIGHT and then of course friends....people ....family...which would make me a loser? coz im losing so much and just gaining age.weight and experience in the process and none of those seem to be helping me in any way... its like the universe is plotting it ...you know like that terrible viva which was supposed to be damn easy....even what is supposed to be damn easy is being made difficult for me... coming to think age weight and experience are a lethal triad....pull you down more than push you up :| and what definitely does not h...

yes i am a stat crazed person ...and i love to keep looking at the stats page on my blog.... and one month down the line what still amazes me...is other than the India US and UK people (who i force to read my blog sadly :P)...i have stats from Germany Malaysia and Australia?i mean  really ....people from that far would bother to read...!!! looks like im typing in my sleep...good night

okay so here is why you really dont want to know how my day went... today is the end of clinical posting exam in social medicine (translation: they torture us for a month in a dept and then like to test us to see if they did it effectively...).. it was supposed to be on monday...but the  only student who bothered to study decided to force the department (im still wondering what he used to blackmail them...)..to have it TODAY... anyway my batch was supposed to go to the medicine ward and being so rainy god blessed us with many a malaria case...and i knew malaria pretty well.. so all i did for the last one week..DESPITE THE NAGGING THING AT THE BACK OF MY MIND...WHICH SAID..."YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT GYNAEC ....GOO TIME TO READ UP!!"..i still continued with medicine... ohh i should tell you.....Nothing against cute babies (as long as they dont puke/pee/poop/any other form of bodily fluid ejection... on me...) or their moms (except for the crazy hormones) but I HATE GYN...

why is it when things go wrong ...they all go wrong together?? in clusters i mean....its like problems come in herds ...and like to stay ... unwanted guests in your life i must say..... and the one thing that you think should not NOT NOT GET messed up... gets messed up first and fixed last..... and having been in the everything-has-gone-wrong-but-nothing-wants-to-get-fixed ....phase...WAY TOO MANY TIMES... and maybe i wont feel bad if i had anything to do with those things going wrong...but i DONT ...:| and even when things get fixed ...either its a half done job OR . .....the happiness comes mixed with sadness ... its like extra strong coffee...to which you add extra sugar ...its bitter...too bitter to taste good...its sweet but not sweet enough to cover the bitterness.....its bittersweet ...and its gonna make ur tongue taste like crap for a long time later.... so basically the good times are like that and ...the bad times are like well burnt food- unfixable,difficult to swa...

my luck ain't that bad i guess...atleast not today though i knew it in the morn ...coz everything went wrong...yes it all went WRONG! and when i have terrible mornings...i usually have better days... . i havent slept all night coz i was scared i was scared coz i couldnt study and i couldnt study coz i was scared woke up with a backache... i got late for college.. i got stuck in the rain... i almost got killed crossing the road... this HUGE STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPID BEST BUS DRIVER DROVE right into puddle..and you know the whole wave of ( i dont want to think what all went into the making of that puddle) water sprayed all over me ....just like the movies...!!! gr8 ..im walking to the bustop and now im the centre of attention!! marvellous and to make things better ...raining ....got an exam and NO BUS IN THE VICINITY.... and when one does come it is full :@ not the best thing right when u plan to study in the bus.... so here i am in the st bus seat with the pervy guys who k...

What would hurt you the most: broken bone broken friendship broken mirror (hurts too) broken toe..(has happened to me) broken heart broken cookie (its depressing wen u open the pack the pieces fall onto ur lap and u cant even eat em) broken....you get it been through all except no.5....but you know you can clear up after all the other ones... the broken friendships are the messy ones... you can't forget it.. you can't ignore it... you can't even accept it...you can try and put a bandage called "sorry" on the top of it... but it doesn't always heal... and then of course pretty much like infections you will have people who will try to get between you... and try to make the most out of it.... and it hurts to shove em out and try to get things back on track. and then sometimes...things get worse...and there is a fatality...pop goes ur buddy-ness... DEAR GOD ...DON'T MAKE ME GO THROUGH THIS OVER N OVER AGAIN...

Hot Hot Hot.... If you are so hot why would you have anything to do with me... It isn't even like I'm worth it.. Or am I? You would think I'm some kinda heat magnet.... Yeah you read that right... I was in a hurry today in a attempt to break off my holiday schedule.. And I think I forgot that the Fire God/Heat God has a crush on me... O something like that... Coz I have the ability to get burnt even when I don't do anything...I promise I'm like really cautious and stuff And still my hands get burnt ....usually my hands...till today at least.... I have been burnt by almost every type of heat... Classified as wet heat and fry heat ..check check... Hot solid object...check Hot liquid.....check Hot gas( I'm talking steam....)...check Agarbathi check Frying pan check Pressure cooker check... Hot oil check (today's spl...) Steam ...check.. Hot liquids including boiling hot water ..tea...c...

Okay this is as abnormal as abnormal can feel... It is like it is abnormally abnormal...not even the usual normally abnormal feeling.. I have not had the urge at all of late....for a month almost...? It is like it is lost completely...where did it go? I mean it isn't like I don't want to...it is more like I can't...and when I feel like it I can't stop myself...Nope that pen won't stop writing till everything my mind thinks has come out the way my mind tells me it should...Dammit...I can't even edit or decide what to write....Whenever I do ...it usually gets messed up. And this is the one thing I  enjoy doing....I feel like it only when I am supposed to be doing something else.. Guess I will feel like writing again during pre-exam boredom...now that I have exam after exam for ...okay I don't know when I am coming out of the other side of the course... Whoever thought writing could be this difficult...Exams exams...here they come :|

okay so you arent the person i was best buddies with...or atleast I thought i was and here I am talking to a complete stranger 3 years down the line... the person i knew and the person i see are simply not the same and when they start acting the way they used to despise...lets say friend a hates pink... imagine friend a 3 years down the line in pink pink pink pink!!!! thats what im talking about... and here you see them all over people they claimed to hate all along.. "ohh you are so sweet?" wth!! people change and i am not the best when it comes to dealing with it...especially when you thought you had somebody all figured out...and you realise you didnt know anything... and the people who you think you dont know.....ok thats for another post

the portions for my 7 paper exam this sem are over 3 pages... thats the abbreviated portions.... and some of the teachers haven't even given their chapter list yet... and here i am ....IN my world im too scared to let go off... wait i havent bought my books...wait i dont know which books to buy... i dont even know wat to study... for a nerd ...this is a huge fall...i was a nerd... i was maybe...am i now? nope i think ive convinced everyone else to study and now  i... dont know ANYTHING...

dont say anything  dont say anything  dont say anything  dont say anything  ... ... . . . . "hi..." and then i lose about 1 hour ...damn its 4 hours? no wait i lost an entire day... a week? a month? i dont know how long ...wat else i have ignored...but i guess ive spent too much time on it and ignored a lot of other crucial stuf... looking back now there are so  many other things i could have done better.... things i may have done in the first place... things i regret not doing.... all coz i was busy catching up with friends ....which probably wouldnt have happened if i had been with them wen i studied in the first place...not blaming the circumstances...but now im on the web caught in a web i have woven over myself and i cant get myself out of...i mean have u ever seen a spider caught in its own web??? and then here i am trying to get out .. but everytime i see sumone i know online (in a few cases i see them online even when they arent...) i cant help saying th...

10 things I learnt from Facebook: 1.Pokes: Nobody will poke you a second time if you don't give a damn the first time...Ignore their poking and they will stop. 2.Friend requests: You  can't force anybody to be your friend.... You can ask them nicely if they will ...you can ask them twice...but if they dont want to you have to let go... Also no matter how much somebody tries to force you to be their friend you should learn to say no when necessary...Somebody knowing half the people you know isn't a qualification to be your friend... 3.Inbox: Inbox stuff you can not afford to tell the world... As much as you want to tell somebody something....the whole world doesn't need to know... 4. Likes and the lack of dislikes: Zucky gave us a like button but not a dislike button...the reason ... If you like something ....go out there and let people know that you like it.... But if you did not like something....you do not have to go around announcing it....Keep it to...

I'm always making a fresh beginning...always a fresh beginning.... It is like I made one ...and then here I am making one more new beginning... Maybe it is the fact that it is a vicious cycle....and I end up making the same mistakes over and over again... And hence have to make the same new beginnings over and over again... It isnt like I dont know before I make the mistake that I'm making it...I do... And then there I am again....regretting it and making a new start... It is almost like my ability to pick terrible friends... I make the same mistakes.. Pick the same type of friends... They make the same mistakes each time...same fights..and I always end up saying sorry even if Im not at fault.. So now here I am making a new beginnning ...about new beginnings... I HOPE...

I did say one person but I think I said one person to be your "friend" as well...now I have people asking me who the lucky one person is? Like I know...Like I care...and then it comes to am i in love which I am not ....and hence it is annoying if someone goes on and on and on with the delusion that I do....(Im surrounded by so many of em I have a feeling Im some kinda freak magnet...) No I (unlike most of my ever-in-love-ohh-my -gawd-twilight-is-so-awesome friends who uniformly haven't read any other book in that genre.....) am not waiting for any knight-in-shining-armour-who-is-a-blablabla-to turn up at my doorstep someday... And being the one person sensible enough to shove em knights away and wield my scalpel at em !!Im not even interested for heavens sake...just coz u gals are doesnt mean I am! :/ No I mean I can seriously forward every schmuck I know to you...I don't really care ...you can have em all!! Im single ..AND.happy about it.... I don't intend t...

All you need is one person... One person to make your day. One person to do something, To take all the bad away. One person who can remind you, Of everything you have been through. One person to tell you everything, There is nothing you can't do. You know its a all a lie, And everything won't be okay. But just to hear that it will, Is comforting,especially on a bad day. You need one person to tell you, You don't know you are the best. To tell you the contrary, of course, You always have the rest. It isn't like you need to find a dozen, Just one person you need to find. Why is it so difficult,then, To trace the friend you have in mind?

"hey whats up long time ...." and that is how it sets in... we may have never  even talked when we were in school... you probably never knew which section i belonged to even though we were in the same year... u probably never knew wat my name was though we studied in the same school for about 6 years.. but once you are out of school/college...atleast in my experience .... even those who made ur school life hell...seem to fall into the "people who made my school life worthwhile category..." random.......random people...who add u on fb/(orkut it was wen i passed out..)/a billion other sites i have accounts on coz sum1 sent me invited bt never bothered to ever login... u start talking to them randomly ...either they initiate it ...or u do... and them bam!whether they talked to u in skl or not... whether they made fun of u or not... whether u have even seen them or not... once the nostalgia sets in...abt the good old days...about the teachers and their mann...

ever wished life was a radio station??and u cud just tune people out?? i do ....sometimes its all just like the disturbance between stations... very rarely u can tune into sumthing thats audible... and rarely thats wat u want to listen to ... usually its something they are telling the world that u wud rather not know... and jus as rare as it is to get hold of sumthing on the radio that u like listening to ... its rare that you get to listen to sumthing u like... and its the lucky few hu get to listen to wat they want weneva they wanna... (most of us do spend time shuttling between stations ...trying to find the right thing to listen to...).. BUT THEN THERE IS THE NOISE!!! the people u dont want to listen to... the people who make no sense .,... who are jus the disturbance between people u do want to listen to ... to tune them out ...u need sum1 else to tune into... and i think im still searching ...

dont think about it!! dont think about it!! DO NOT THINK ABOUTTTTTTTT IT!! nah im still in pain...pain is pain....now im not talking of the emotional pain coz if u get me started on that one id probably never finish ... but as anonymous rants addressed at nobody in particular ...who will not ask me to shut up mainly (at some point i began wondering if my name really was shut up!!)..i get to say wat i wanna... getting back to which...i get told "dont have painkillers wen in pain ...jus ignore it.. " now if ignoring it were that effective i doubt pharma companies would even have any reason to exist...!! im in pain...its not like i LIKE PILLS AT ALL!! i hate em...they get stuck in my throat and simply dont wanna go anywhere near my stomach....i hate em...  bt wen in pain id rather have sumthing that makes me feel like the pain is on its way down... but no ...i get told ...dont take pills ... so i dont...and then i get asked "why didnt u jus pop a pill if u were fe...

No I cant sleep... im trying ...its not like im not...im tired ...i DID NOT HAVE ANY NAPS...AND IM NOT A BABY..TO HAVE MONITORED NAPS ANYWAY.. im not allowed to stay awake...hence im in bed trying hard to knock this stupid head of mine senseless .... but there is no way that sleep is gonna come anywhere near me it seems... everyone is snoring whichever way i turn....if i sit and study (aww cmon who even does that !!) i will have sum1 get up and temme...get back to bed!!lack of sleep will make ur eyes lose its shine(they probably dont even look into my eyes ..) sleep come to ME!!! okay so let me listen to some music maybe it will help... *voice from the side*  "why are u plugging ur ears?you will get infection if u do that!!! pray to go sleep..." try reasoning ..cant..so try praying ...not helping ...god isnt even talking back... im back to my radio station...mostly 107.1 rainbow..try to listen to sumthing and sleep...atleast the rj is talking to me...okay he/she isnt ...but i...

if you have read jerome k jerome you would know how much chaos packing can cause... if you come here...you would know who was the inspiration... its gonna b soo insane ..esp since the shopping isnt done ...the suitcase doesnt exist and ..... we are NOTORIOUS FOR REPACKING... every granny has the tendency to shuffle things within ur bag so more can fit...my g is diff... she will say keep it once and u dont get to move it... the one reason why we always feel like moving things around! :D  ohh im sooo looking forward to this...:)

for most people booking a ticket just involves...going on the site... pickin a flight...paying and getting the print.. however in some cases it involves..changing the plan...changin it again ...and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again......and again...

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