I wont.Because I don't want to.

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I gave a damn about what you thought.
No.I spent every minute wondering what people would think, because that is what we are trained to think.

Don't do this ..it isn't polite. What will people think?
Don't walk like this. Don't talk like this.Don't drink like this. Don't eat ice cream like this.Don't chew like this.Don't sing like this. Don't dance.  What will people think!

What will people think?
Turns out people don't think that much.
And the ones who do think, don't think of much substance anyway.Whatever they do think, most people don't remember for as long as you do.
That embarrassing time you lost your first prize.The time you broke all your mother's crockery trying to help her ( okay my mother remembers that story ...but not too well..considering there are variations each time she tells random people about me).Okay...so once in a while.. people do remember.But those who do..are also the people who love you that much.. or hate you that much. 

So chances are you wont remember me. You wont remember who I was. You will meet me and think " I know her.. but I cant remember her name!!" You will look at my face and wonder if you know me.Chances are I'd be smiling at you and you'd walk past me.And I spent half my life... okay I think its something less than a quarter of my life wondering what you'd think of me if I did something.

So now I am rude (apparently). I say whatever I think. I don't waste my time being nice to people who need to hear the truth.
I don't waste my time clearing other people's messes. 
I don't do things coz they are the "right thing to do" for your benefit.. I'd do it if it was the right thing to do for my head.
I won't say sorry coz you expect me to.I might say sorry coz I wanted to. I won't listen to you coz that is what is expected of me. I will listen to you if I want to. 

They teach you to be obedient.To be subservient. To keep others happy. To be the one who sacrifices. To be the better person. To be the one who kept quiet and ignored whatever was going on.
Well I won't. Okay there is a huge chance I might after some emotional blackmailing, but the point is I will try.I will try not to care and who knows someday I just won't.There.

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